Sometimes, it's hard to be

Depression does not always mean
Beautiful girls shattering at the wrists
A glorified, heroic battle for your sanity
Or mothers that never got the chance to say good-bye

Sometimes depression means
Not getting out of bed for three days
Because your feet refuse to believe
That they will not shatter upon impact with the floor

Sometimes depression means
That summoning the willpower
To go downstairs and do the laundry
Is the most impressive thing you accomplish that week

Sometimes depression means
Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours
Because you cannot convince your body
That it is capable of movement

Sometimes depression means
Not being able to write for weeks
Because the only words you have to offer the world
Are trapped and drowning and I swear to God I’m trying

Sometimes depression means
That every single bone in your body aches
But you have to keep going through the motions
Because you are not allowed to call in to work depressed

Sometimes depression means
Ignoring every phone call for an entire month
Because yes, they have the right number
But you’re not the person they’re looking for, not anymore

Hannah Nicole (via bl-ossomed)

"because you can’t call into work depressed"…shit. I feel like that’s deeper than it was meant to be

Akissforjersey is back together! I’m so damn stoked!

Go the hell to sleep. God wants to see you tomorrow
Love that is not willing to suffer is not worthy of that name
St. Clare of Assisi (via mercypoured)

Hopefully it helps some of y’all. For it to make any lasting impact, it takes a while. You need to listen to it preferably once a day.

"Why do you hide yourself?
the wicked hunts down the weak
who are caught in the traps of devices
but we’re still on our feet!”

AKISSFORJERSEY- Devices

I’m at a loss right now

I know it’s going to sound very generic, but hang with me. I’ve been consumed by thoughts of the purpose of life lately. What am I doing here? What are we all doing here? There’s no damn point. I started binge-ing on the show Futurama 2 weeks ago. I’ve finished 7 seasons since then and it got me thinking about quite a lot for such a seemingly simplistic comedy cartoon. How can the most basic sub-average human amongst us be predestined to save existance? A damn pizza delivery boy, sent 1000 years into the future and changing the course of time. When he gets to the future there are aliens. Aliens. Holy shit thinking about them blows my mind. They are out there somewhere. It’s very arrogant to not think this when there are 200 billion star systems in our galaxy alone, and 100 billion galaxies around us. That’s an incomprehensible scale.We think that Christianity is the purpose of life, but how can it be when that’s just Earth? Do other planets get their own Jesus too? The scope of Christianity just seems way too focused for me now. I’ve been watching Stephen Hawking’s tv show lately as well and it has discussed the feasibility of forward time travel, portals, life on other planets…I’m just having a mental meltdown here. There are so many fucking answers out there that nobody is asking the questions to. It just makes me feel like everyone is dicking around. And I’m not saying I’m any better, just that I’m becoming aware that this system that we are a part of is so damn basic and narrow minded. Finally, I watched the movie Jobs. While it is mildly stressful to watch as Ashton Kutcher’s (Steve Jobs’) temper is so high strung the whole time, it was all about pushing forward. Relentlessly chasing improvement and expanding the scope of what we thought we knew and what we thought was possible. It makes me feel so inadequate. Such wasted potential. But now I’m not so much upset as I am just racking my brain trying to discover why the hell God even bothered putting me here and what I’m going to end up doing with my life.

If there’s ever been time travel, there’s always been time travel.