Sometimes, it's hard to be
Today was quite enjoyable

I was quite stressed after being thrown right into the middle of everything yesterday but today was not as difficult. I got to see an active volcano, talk more with my host family, and spend time in a hummingbird garden. Classes start tomorrow. I really hope I get placed into a high enough Spanish because if I don’t, my graduation might be delayed.

Could use yall’s prayers

I’m headed on my study abroad tomorrow and anxiety is hitting me pretty hard.

I’m pretty sure there’s a pit somewhere that devours all my underwear and socks.
I’m leaving for Costa Rica in 2 days and will be gone for 4 months…I’m stressing out.

I’m getting really damn sick of everyone saying how jealous they are and how much fun I’m going to have. Everyone feels the need to tell me what they think I’m going to learn while I’m there and how good it will be for me blahhh blahhh blahhh. I really don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave my friends, family, school…everything I’ve ever known behind for a whole semester. Life just feels sortof grey right now and I’m bored as fuck. Like seriously…what is the point.

And so the sky becomes a dream I’ve never dreamt because I’m just too busy waiting on nothing and wasting away.
Tonight Alive
About to hit a big change in my life. In light of this, I’m going to start using Tumblr again so I don’t kill myself.

Depression does not always mean
Beautiful girls shattering at the wrists
A glorified, heroic battle for your sanity
Or mothers that never got the chance to say good-bye

Sometimes depression means
Not getting out of bed for three days
Because your feet refuse to believe
That they will not shatter upon impact with the floor

Sometimes depression means
That summoning the willpower
To go downstairs and do the laundry
Is the most impressive thing you accomplish that week

Sometimes depression means
Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours
Because you cannot convince your body
That it is capable of movement

Sometimes depression means
Not being able to write for weeks
Because the only words you have to offer the world
Are trapped and drowning and I swear to God I’m trying

Sometimes depression means
That every single bone in your body aches
But you have to keep going through the motions
Because you are not allowed to call in to work depressed

Sometimes depression means
Ignoring every phone call for an entire month
Because yes, they have the right number
But you’re not the person they’re looking for, not anymore

Hannah Nicole (via bl-ossomed)

"because you can’t call into work depressed"…shit. I feel like that’s deeper than it was meant to be

Akissforjersey is back together! I’m so damn stoked!

Go the hell to sleep. God wants to see you tomorrow